Think about this…. more than half the time you spend communicating, should be spent listening.
Is that statement true in your case? Unfortunately for most people, it isn’t.
Many people listen passively because they confuse listening with hearing. We hear a lot throughout the average day — but we are truly less likely to actively listen. For the majority of our daily interactions, this is okay. However when it comes to those special relationships with friends, family, or that special someone… it’s a different story.
When we don’t listen, our personal relationships start to suffer. It’s difficult to have a mutual and heart-centered relationship when we feel we are misunderstood and aren’t being listened to, right!
Fact of the matter is that we all need to develop our active listening skills. The first step to learning and developing those skills is through self-awareness.
Being more aware of the poor listening habits we’ve picked up over the years allows us to slowly assess those hurdles — while starting to understand how to improve our ability to listen while increasing the level of communication with that special someone in our life.
Here’s a list of the top 10 common hurdles associated with poor listening habits. While reviewing the list, become aware of which suggestions you tend to struggle with:
1 – We judge and evaluate the other person
We’re so busy planning our rebuttal to what the other is saying that we often don’t really hear what is being said.
2 – We jump to conclusions
We start filling in all the details of a story without giving the other person a chance to truly explain the situation.
3 – We think we’re all the same
We believe that everyone has the same filter on life as we do (thoughts and emotions).
4 – We don’t pay attention
We let our minds wander throughout the conversation without being present.
5 – We have a closed mind
Research shows that we tend to tune people out with whom we don’t agree.
6 – We utilize hopeful hearing
We tend to hear what we want to hear.
7 – We use vague words
We fail to find out what the other means by the particular words he or she uses.
8 – We aren’t humble
We feel that we must impress our superiority by speaking or contradicting the other person.
9 – We talk too much
We interrupt the other person and try to dominate the conversation so that the other person doesn’t get a chance to adequately express their ideas.
10 – We are filled with fear
We avoid listening with understanding because we are afraid that the other may challenge some long-held belief. We are afraid to be threatened by a new idea.
When it comes to active listening, it’s imperative that you’re working daily to improve your skills. Relationship management comes a lot easier when you’re willing to take the time to listen to your partner, understand their words, and be open to learning more about them.
If you need more help improving your level of self-awareness regarding listening; send the Get Good coaches an email via our Contact page or sign up to attend our virtual “Uncovering You” MASTERCLASS.